"I like to spend time with pretty people, why wouldn't I?"

This evening I caught up with two long time ex colleagues whom I like very much. I must like them both since it's over 5 years since we all worked together and we still make the vague effort to keep in touch... work friendships are notoriously precarious in that you can spend years sitting next to someone sharing weekend tales, loose gossip and endless tea round arguments until one of you leaves and you literally never see them again. 

Its the hottest day of the year and it's a Thursday - and as all city workers know Thursday is the big night out so that we can nurse our hangovers on a Friday under the veil of work and not ruin the forthcoming weekend feeling crap. Ex colleague number 2 (EC2) arrives after myself and ex colleague 1 (EC1) are already on our first beverage... "I love London in the Summer, it's great"... with a vague nod to the summer clothing of the few ladies dotted outside the pub.. it is true that when the temperature rises in the city, so do the hemlines. Hmm. My spidy senses are up.

The conversation drifted a little chatting about old colleagues and generally catching up when we started talking of a mutual acquaintance.. The acquaintance in question is someone who loves drama in her private life and loves to detail every nuance of her relationships with her friends, one of whom is EC2. I queried why he puts up with the type of friendship they have which is very much one sided in her favour, the answer being.. "I like to spend time with pretty people, why wouldn't I"? Uh huh.The point is though it's not people is it... it's a female.. EC2 wouldn't robustly listen to drivel from another work mate if they were male and droning on and on, week in, week out, year in, year out.. so.. I pushed further "Well, you see, when I walk into a pub with her everyone turns and stares".. So basically she's a trophy friend, right? And you like the kudos of having her on your arm?

Being a candid kind of person, especially with my friends, I pointed out that this demonstrated a sexist disposition and that the lady, regardless, of anything else was being judged on her looks by EC2. And since this started in the workplace as that's how they knew each other.. Was this the case with every new female colleague he was introduced to? He assured me it wasn't and that at work he would treat everyone equally and on their ability, before adding "If I find someone attractive they are going to have to work twice as hard to impress me"... to which EC1 and I peeled ourselves off the floor with laughter. And there you have it. If a red blooded man finds you attractive in the work place girls, you're doubly fucked, as to be even fairer to those girls he doesn't find attractive or guys who are able you have to work twice as hard. Just cos you're pretty. And this is being used in defence of not being sexist.

To be fair, we did then chat around the biological differences between us and how subliminally we aren't capable of suppressing these on an unconscious level as this is what we are programmed to do... which I do agree with to a point. But I mean, come on!!! It's 2014.. that's exactly what I am asking?! It's this type of ingrained attitude which men don't even realise they have that I'm challenging... it's thinking of women as either an inferior person or a piece of meat but certainly not as an equal in the true sense of the word. And if we aren't thought of as equals, how can we ever expect to be taken seriously in the workplace and progress our careers?

As a final thought when I noticed EC1 had remained steadfastly quiet and queried his opinion on the subject, EC2 remarked "You're married, you've been beaten down by a woman for years!".

Sorry EC2. You know I love you really! 😜