Quick Girls! Snare one whilst you can!

In London, to combat the tube journey home we are lucky enough to receive a fabulously free publication - the Evening Standard. Even better, the commute home is never more brightened then when you are able to stroll into one of the carriages, pop yourself down into a seat you do, after all, pay for, only to find it furnished with today's evening's standard. And guess what? Boom!! Today this prophecy came true!

Mid way through my read I happened upon an article entitled 'Looking for love: Are these men the City's most eligible bachelors?'

http://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/looking-for-love-are-these-men-the-citys-most-eligible-bachelors-9964609.html

How wonderful, the Evening Standard has taken it upon themselves to eek out the best catches the city has to offer and published their moodiest corporate looking poses, so London's women can swoon all the way home and imagine that these handsome, well salaried men might be the one to put a ring on it. I can almost hear galloping horses in the distance.. 

Let's take a closer look at the credentials of these bachelors who are so struggling to find love Joshi Herrmann of the  Evening Standard had decided to champion their cause.

Henry Adefope, 25Financial PR 

Successful City publicist.

It literally is one-night stands [at the moment]. That’s it. It really is a trophy. I’m attracted to Victoria’s Secret models. Normally they are foreign so it’s a fly-by-night thing. 

Wow wee ladies. What a catch! A self styled Leonardo di Caprio who at the age of 25 has declared himself only interested in Victoria's Secret models... A successful city publicist (do they even exist?! Has anyone ever met one?) seems adept at publicising what he wants - a quickie with someone whose most attractive quality is possessing a protruding ribcage, who doesn't live here (less messy) and doesn't mind being displayed as the trophy he is using you to display! But don't hang around in the morning.. that flight back to Timbuktu will be waiting...

Dan Pring, 29Insurer 

Public schoolboy — good at rugby and underwriting South American risk.

 “I’ve never met up with a Tinder date more than once. The challenge is finding a nice stand-up lady who can meet the parents.”

To be fair a slightly rubbish explanation of poor Dan and hardly selling him... a public schoolboy (yes, ten to a penny in the city and really means that he will have an unwarranted superiority complex with the bizarre believe intellectualism doesn't exist beyond a paid for education) who plays rugby (sorry to stereotype but... public schoolboy in rugby playing shocker) and underwrites South American risks (Possibly well versed in the bribery act). It seems as though the singles ladies of the city have bypassed Dan (where does he hang out?!) and he's turned to Tinder.. not much success there either. I'm rather perplexed as to what a 'nice stand-up lady' means? Is Dan really saying his image of a wife is a wholesome well bred young lady who probably wears little make up, has few opinions to air and will be perfect to introduce to his equally as vacuous parents when she wafts in with a Sloaney air of public school breeding? 

Sean Mooney, 29Commodities sales 

Everest-climbing, Channel-swimming Canadian catch. 

“I wouldn’t be opposed to [dating] a woman working in finance, but it’s not what I’m looking for.”

Scrimped on content compared to his counterparts, but Sean displays in so few words possibly the worst type of man in the dating pool for any would be wife. As he works in Sales I'd hazard a guess Sean is an alpha male, this being reinforced by his extra curricular pursuits of a weekend... climbing Everest (as you do) and swimming the channel ( a quick 30 miles on a Sunday morning) with regular trips back to Canada to see the family. And this is how he's choosing to boast about advertise himself?  Somehow I think if you were Sean's girl you'd be playing second fiddle not only to an aspiring career, but an egotistical hero complex which can only be exercised with ironman after ironman after marathon des sables.. it's OK though you and the baby will probably be well compensated whilst he's living the life he needs to get one over on his equally as competitive, ambitious, m-dotted colleagues...  and a bonus could be you'd probably never see him!

Wow Evening Standard! You know how to pick 'em!

PS: Can't wait to read the city's most eligible women in tomorrow's standard!

Deals on the back of a fag packet...

The City is a very small world. Despite it's large populace marching like penguins back and forth over London Bridge everyday, it's like 6 degrees of separation.. you know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone.

When I watch Sky News at 19.30 with Jeff Randall, Live from the Gherkin.. see picture to the right twinkling in the Sun... I can't help but laugh as to how the city is portrayed - rolling ticker tape of stocks and shares, some commentary on today's main movers and shakers.. quite different from my experience of drinking an afternoon away in one of the Gherkin's many bars. This is the insurance district after all.. St Paul's (location of the LSE) is a good mile away. Whenever the service industries are reported it's always in generic faceless terms... Banking! Insurance! Stockbrokers!... like they are a series of bleak edifices which churn out an opinion every now and then coveted by the likes of Jeff Randall. The reality couldn't be more different. The City is a people place. Insurance is a people industry and if you want to progress to the top you need to enjoy socialising and frequently making new acquaintances. 

The last 10 years has seen a clamp down on all financial services industries... more regulation and a greater need for 'transparency' as well as an actual legal statute the 'bribery act' being introduced (probably similar to MP's expenses now being declared to their constituents...) However, this got me thinking. What none of these acts actually cover are the complex range of relationships which are apparent and reflected in many day to day, year to year business arrangements...

- The nearly retired men who have worked together with each other since 1963 and still reminisce fondly over the 'English Club' and afternoon lock ins before pub opening hours were extended. The phrase 'on the back of a fag packet' stems from these days when a deal was scrawled thus. This bond is impenetrable (see first blog post)

- The 25 year plus business marriage.. alright they might not actually be shagging, but they act like a married could as they've worked together so long and the trust is implicit

- The Affair.. tricky for both parties, as usually they really can't piss each other off business wise for fear of covers being blown. Numerous and can be short and very very long lived to that point that they are known in the industry as a couple

- The Flirt.. those that feel they can move in on someone and sweeten them up with some business deal, leading to lunches, leading to wine and eventually, they hope, leading to sex

... the list could go on. Not much combatting this is there?! Yet they are at the heart of many, many deals which are done. And on the back of all these relationships? Gossip. Gossip about everyone. Gossip about someone, who knows someone, who knows someone. In an industry where companies constantly change it's not unusual that new employees to the firm are known because of some story that precedes them, rather than their business acumen... countless times have I been told of someone's arrival that I vaguely have heard of to be told 'you know, he was shagging his 18 year old junior', 'ahhhh, him!'. Basically it's who you know and not what you know. Relationships are king, regardless of the format in which they appear. And it would be wise to heed... whilst people don't remember the basics of business life.. they will always remember a downright dirty extra curricular tale.. 

"I like to spend time with pretty people, why wouldn't I?"

This evening I caught up with two long time ex colleagues whom I like very much. I must like them both since it's over 5 years since we all worked together and we still make the vague effort to keep in touch... work friendships are notoriously precarious in that you can spend years sitting next to someone sharing weekend tales, loose gossip and endless tea round arguments until one of you leaves and you literally never see them again. 

Its the hottest day of the year and it's a Thursday - and as all city workers know Thursday is the big night out so that we can nurse our hangovers on a Friday under the veil of work and not ruin the forthcoming weekend feeling crap. Ex colleague number 2 (EC2) arrives after myself and ex colleague 1 (EC1) are already on our first beverage... "I love London in the Summer, it's great"... with a vague nod to the summer clothing of the few ladies dotted outside the pub.. it is true that when the temperature rises in the city, so do the hemlines. Hmm. My spidy senses are up.

The conversation drifted a little chatting about old colleagues and generally catching up when we started talking of a mutual acquaintance.. The acquaintance in question is someone who loves drama in her private life and loves to detail every nuance of her relationships with her friends, one of whom is EC2. I queried why he puts up with the type of friendship they have which is very much one sided in her favour, the answer being.. "I like to spend time with pretty people, why wouldn't I"? Uh huh.The point is though it's not people is it... it's a female.. EC2 wouldn't robustly listen to drivel from another work mate if they were male and droning on and on, week in, week out, year in, year out.. so.. I pushed further "Well, you see, when I walk into a pub with her everyone turns and stares".. So basically she's a trophy friend, right? And you like the kudos of having her on your arm?

Being a candid kind of person, especially with my friends, I pointed out that this demonstrated a sexist disposition and that the lady, regardless, of anything else was being judged on her looks by EC2. And since this started in the workplace as that's how they knew each other.. Was this the case with every new female colleague he was introduced to? He assured me it wasn't and that at work he would treat everyone equally and on their ability, before adding "If I find someone attractive they are going to have to work twice as hard to impress me"... to which EC1 and I peeled ourselves off the floor with laughter. And there you have it. If a red blooded man finds you attractive in the work place girls, you're doubly fucked, as to be even fairer to those girls he doesn't find attractive or guys who are able you have to work twice as hard. Just cos you're pretty. And this is being used in defence of not being sexist.

To be fair, we did then chat around the biological differences between us and how subliminally we aren't capable of suppressing these on an unconscious level as this is what we are programmed to do... which I do agree with to a point. But I mean, come on!!! It's 2014.. that's exactly what I am asking?! It's this type of ingrained attitude which men don't even realise they have that I'm challenging... it's thinking of women as either an inferior person or a piece of meat but certainly not as an equal in the true sense of the word. And if we aren't thought of as equals, how can we ever expect to be taken seriously in the workplace and progress our careers?

As a final thought when I noticed EC1 had remained steadfastly quiet and queried his opinion on the subject, EC2 remarked "You're married, you've been beaten down by a woman for years!".

Sorry EC2. You know I love you really! 😜

My my.. we are looking well endowed today

Why did I start writing this blog? Largely due to an off the cuff comment in the office to our team 21 year old assistant which occurred last week. Whilst walking through the office one of the guys on a different team remarked that her boobs looked much bigger in the new top she was wearing and then he actually thanked her for brightening up his day.. in an open office and in earshot of many others who agreed. And you know what? This is a normal everyday conversation that you would hear replicated all over city offices. As a female operating in this environment, commentary with sexual undertones is something that you need to gloss over on a daily basis should you wish to progress. Women who do get upset about such comments are largely boxed off as hysterical sensitive types and due to the OBC the particular offender will be reinforced by his contemporaries. I am convinced however that if I chose to approach any of my male colleagues and say 'I've noticed you are looking very well endowed today, are they new underpants you're wearing?' the reaction would be somewhat different...

There seemingly has to be a reason as to why we still exist in a world where derogatory behaviour to women is not only tolerated, but is actually an endemic part of our cultural make up. It appears that sexism is so ingrained within all of us to a certain degree that although men and women have now been on an equal footing for over 100 years, the mindset hasn't shifted sufficiently. One component of gender portrayal we all unwittingly absorb comes from the media and the continued reinforcement of differentiating us all on the basis of sex. I used 'absorb' purposely as this is the real danger which blocks cultural change... we all subliminally take on beliefs through subtle messages which are constantly foist upon us. And nothing portrays this more than the new Nissan Micra advert - Advert Link!

Obviously a female having to chair a meeting in a scary boardroom, full of scary men is way too intimidating for her to deal with, so the poor little lamb has to resort to lowering their seats so that she feels confident enough to address the board (who naturally are depicted as a group of greying white suited men).. you see my point? And this is an advert. For a car. Although worth adding that the clever marketeers who put this together as a situation which could be achieved as the car is so quick (I'm sure maybe not missing your flight home for Christmas could have been a better example) are working for Japanese company - Japan being notorious for it's lack of female presence on executive boards. And, would this advert work with a man being the lead part? No. It's playing on the gender bias and moreover it doesn't even register to most of us how highly sexist this is as the bias is so instilled in us!

I happened upon another article earlier which is a new theory as to how women can make it to the top - the strapline providing most of it's content: The secret to promotion for women? Well cut jeans and looking attractive… but avoid raising your voice and Powerpoint presentations, says new book. Article Link! It is however the male comments which have interested me the most:

Male (Im)Penetration!

This blog is largely my own observations about forging out a career in a workplace where men outnumber women 2:1. Let me paint the scene a little further.. working stereotypes are very much apparent - the vast majority of companies are filled with white middle class men ( then white middle class women), minorities are still exactly that and gender follows the traditional roles... women still populate the HR departments ,whilst men dominate most city executive boards.

So, what reasons are there that 1 square mile in London stoically refuses to embrace any form of workplace change? Whilst there are several aspects of this question I could discuss, I am going to start with what I like to call the Old Boys Club. The OBC. The city equivalent of 'out with the boys' . In my view, men who work in the city have seemingly not been able to shake off their tarzan jungle roots and like to work seamlessly together in absolutely impenetrable clusters, the power of which cannot be underestimated.

These clusters begin when men first enter the work place in their early 20s and quickly establish a peer group.I say 'establish' the reality being a 2 hour visit to the pub, every lunchtime, over 3 pints of wife beater (Stella) discussing the latest football scores or when the next corporate golf day is. Clearly, women are also entering the workplace at the same time. Do the same rules apply? Absoluement non! The chances of an invite to this secret drinking club are remote and if it magically has been forthcoming, even if you are the most sports savvy, fun loving, beer swilling woman going, penetrating this group on the same basis is out of the question (If you happen to be attractive to boot it is nigh on impossible!). Alas most men can't seem to get beyond the gender barrier.. the same level of trust is not apparent and the loose speak of who they would most like to bang in the office will be moderated on your arrival.. unless you've crossed the line into geezer bird territory*. Geezer bird territory can only be achieved by knowing lesser league football players, drinking / smoking at the same level, probably being a bit fat (to negate the attractiveness) and is actually a marker that you are fundamentally unshaggable to them. But still the most dark secrets will be kept from you.

As time moves on, members of the group progress in their careers and may have moved on through 2 or 3 employers. A massively important phase for the OBC as it means... tentacles. And tentacles mean a network. A network all round the city! And this means most importantly to the OBC, protection. And once a state of protection is reached the members are only interested in looking after each other in all aspects of working life... promotions, long lunches, expenses, covering each other's arses etc etc etc. Handily also for the OBC in making their network even stronger is that plenty of women in the city exit the workplace during this phase to start families.. and do not return. 

It's a interesting fact that it was only in 1972 that women were first allowed into the underwriting room into Lloyd's of London.. it doesn't take a brain scientist to work out that there are a large number of men still working in the city who worked at Lloyds at this time. Therefore having to 'deal' with women in the workplace is a fairly recent phenomenon to many of those approaching retirement.I am regularly regaled with stories of the good old days in the late 80s and early 90s when drinking laws meant that most of the watering holes were private members clubs where men would go to each lunchtime and emerge some time later to run back to their boxes so their mates could bring the business which filled the coffers to enable this cycle to continue. And largely this hasn't changed. A known expression of 'deals on the back of fag packet' were just that... cos folk were too pissed to go back to work to do the sign off. 

On a daily basis I see these clusters at work and the way the younger network are championed by the older network... leaving their legacy in a safe pair of hands. These hands are seldom female ones due to the above behaviours. I, along with a good pal, have been drinking in and around a certain cluster for over TEN years now... they are all great fun, know a good deal of our lives in and outside of the city and look out for us. But they are IMPENETRABLE - the inner secrets are never divulged to us and usually we find out 12 months later and guffaw when it emerges one of them has been carrying on with someone we know for the last 3 years in some sort of torrid affair. If you don't have a dick, you can't be trusted, see. 

So what weapons do career minded females have at their disposal to fight these networks with? Enter stage right.. yep, the lowest common denominators - Looks and sex and what these actually provide.. manipulation. More of which in the next post...

Is the city sexist?

It is 2014. Since graduating, I have always worked in the city. Moreover, I have always wanted a career. And, guess what? I have one! Over the last 15 years I have navigated my way through the sticky, grimy world that is corporate life. And corporate nightlife.I'm lucky enough to live and work in London at a time when the workplace is a level playing field for anyone that chooses to enter it. Or so I thought.... Of late I have been musing over many aspects of my career, the good, the bad and where I am headed and the recurring theme to many of my frustrations is this... I am female. It's like a boomerang which keeps flying back in my direction and this has me thinking... are institutions like Lloyds of London, London Stock Exchange or Canary Wharf real and thriving bastions of overt sexism?

Like many of my contemporaries I had a very good education, gained a degree from the all important 'red brick uni' and entered the workplace at the beginning of the noughties. At the age of 21 I firmly believed that the sexes were judged equally and that your career would be moulded by your demonstrated ability and the potential you showed for further development.

Why, then, do I now think the complete opposite? As time has moved on and my career has progressed I have been operating under an illusion that 100 years into female emancipation the city had accepted women in the workplace on a true and equal footing. What complete and utter bullshit! The city is about as emancipated as a chastity belt and this blog will aim to show through anecdotes and discussion how backwards it is.... From 'old school' professional men who excitedly race to work at 9am on a Monday morning as the first lunch of the week is only 3 hours away with their inner clique they've drunk with week in, week out for the last 30 years to 'relationship development' lunches with men who think you being friendly and engaging means a guaranteed shag after 3 hours, this blog will highlight how being female and having a serious career in this environment is a very tricky navigation...